Aficionados of Dark Peak News will know that the Dog's 'handler' has been a tad busy over the past couple of years, resulting perhaps in less embarrassment of riches than might otherwise have been the case in the pages of the Dog's Diary. Pending the former's retirement, therefore, the Calendar has agreed to provide temporary cover for this keenly missed feature within the pages of DP News.
As one of only a select number of past (non)correspondents (two, to be precise) to have let the current editorial team down completely, the Calendar is therefore taking this task especially seriously and, accordingly, is pleased to announce the impending publication of the very first contributions to "The Cat's Annals" (very likely subject to editorial over-rule), since clearly it cannot speak with (and would never presume to speak for) the dog.
The Calendar is now soliciting all your stories - however small or large - of other peoples' mishaps on the fells over the past year and a bit (the last tale to appear in print seemingly having related to events in December 2015). The more detail you can provide (including month and year) the better, so that the Cat can do proper violence to its subjects, and noting that the Calendar itself is now past 50, and unable to remember anything much beyond the end of Andy Harmer's nose.
Please email the Calendar direct, or private message via FB or Twitter @dpcalendar - all informants will, of course, be kept in closest confidence. In the event of exposure (protecting one's sources appears increasingly tricky in these post-factual days), the Dog's handler has, as a proper journalist, already identified a number of safe houses around the peak. Please therefore be entirely assured of your safety, and get your factoids, truths and half-truths of derring-don't on the fells in by the rather fierce deadline of 24th May (a week on Wednesday) if you want to see your favourite gaffs in print.
If the Cat's handler misses this deadline, there may very well be blood on the walls. Oh, hang on, that might just have introduced a rather more powerful disincentive to fess up for some ... we look forward to your contributions, regardless